there are countless organizations – small and large scale, Faith based and secular – who have aimed to rise to the challenge to end “modern day slavery”. some do an incredible job of bringing about relevant awareness and proactively support and empower those victimized. sadly, most seem to simply encourage what is now known as, slacktivism.
[slacktivism is essentially when an individual sees a picture or link, takes the sound bite and/or image into account, is momentarily outraged or inspired, clicks 'like' or 'RT' and then goes about their day. occasionally, the person will even buy a tee or item in support of this and then move on, feeling as if they have done their part to help. most of us have done this at least once.]

we live in a world where oppression is found economically, politically, socio-economically – the list goes on; where a large portion of people continue to choose the path of least resistance and the more affordable over the more ethical when they spend their hard earned money. we have allowed ourselves [rightfully] to be swayed by tragic stories of vulnerable children and women who are exploited while ignoring the fact that men are frequently left out of the conversation. resources for males who are victims and survivors of trafficking are often without resources. no one in their right mind thinks that trafficking is good or right, but the stories and “how did this happen” elements get lost along the way.

during a recent last meeting with our SF team, we spoke at length about these things, got mad, yelled a lot, surfed the web to research if we were right about anything or if we were just being judgmental jerks. what we landed on was this:

for us, this issue is bigger then the headline grabbing stories of those bought, sold and abused in ways we cannot fathom. if we are gong to say we will be change-makers when it comes to trafficking, we have to look at the whole picture.
an organization can specialize in a niche and do exceptionally well helping those within it, but what about in everyday choices and how we live?

we are a community that is well intentioned and our desire for more makes it easy to justify not doing more. example: it’s easier to go to a big box retailer who holds speculative public records of labor violations and buy a T-Shirt for $5 versus buying a similar shirt which was created under an umbrella of respect and ethics to all those involved, start to finish…for $35.

that’s a high price for being an ethical consumer.

so, we’re thinking out loud now:
what can we all do for the other 364 days of the year, to make change for those oppressed in the worst ways? what can you do as an individual to begin to make a difference? what can our communities that we all have influence in do with you, to spark real change?

we don’t expect to change the world from a semi-snarky blog post. but we have made choices to buy and live with others in mind that can benefit or suffer from our choices.

if you live in SF/the Bay Area and want to meet up with us to talk about what we can do when it comes to human trafficking, drop us a line. if you live outside of SF and want to continue this conversation, email us so we can invite you to our upcoming online meet up.

we don’t claim to have all the answers, but we do have a desire for change as we are able to make it happen. today is a reminder to us that our actions will speak louder than words to what could happen next. we are grateful for the freedoms we do have and grieve for those who do not.

in April of 2011, my world was changed for the better, despite one of the worst ways to meet someone; Hollie at that time, had been diagnosed with Stage 3 Metastatic Breast Cancer.

Hollie has been a friend, an adventurer and a force to be reckoned with to anyone who knows and loves her. we have spent too may days in Dr’s appointments and hospital rooms and not enough times having sushi and people watching.

on Tuesday morning, Hollie passed away. she was holding the hand of her husband, Eric and close friend, Morgan. She took a breath and went to sleep.

there are no words right now for the loss that her husband and family of friends feel. Eric and Hollie were so in love, they got married, twice. her fans, who she loved, have been with her during this. to those of you reading this – you gave Hollie love, support and compassion. thank you for that. so while we grieve with each of you, we also are rejoicing that we knew someone as amazing as Hollie Stevens as well as the force and person behind ‘Hollie’. she has left a legacy much larger than her adult performances, she is no longer in pain and she is in peace.

Hollie was an accomplished painter – her work hangs in a gallery just outside of LA. she was also a dj, video mixer, championship kick boxer, athlete, performance artist, and published writer. in one of our last conversations, i asked her what she wanted to be known and remembered as. the following was her answer:

“I hope people know I’m always myself. I take pride in what others think may be weird about me! [she laughed for about 10 seconds and then said:] I’d also want people to know what I love most, what what makes me happy, is being a friend and a wife. That’s what I would want them to know and remember.”

i love you, Hollie. and we will always remember.

there are arguments saying the numbers are grossly inflated and opposing sides saying the numbers too low and under reported.

one thing i know for sure, speaking for myself:

no one in their right mind wants a child, man or woman oppressed against their will. no true Abolitionist, no adult sex worker, mom or dad, student – the list goes on – wants someone to have their rights taken from them or others.

there’s a difference between choice and coercion. what i choose is allowed by me and what is forced upon me against my will is abuse and robbing me of my dignity and basic human rights.

once again, the web is buzzing with re-tweets, quotes & blogs [we put one up] and dizzying statistics. an entire day and month has been set aside for the purpose of recognizing Human Trafficking. so here’s our challenge to ourselves and to you:

what will you do tomorrow with this topic? when your T shirt needs to be washed and the buzz dies down, what will you choose to do?

will you sacrifice a few comforts to buy your items ethically?

will you educate yourself and work in the trenches to help those who need it desperately?

will you contribute to those who really need to be rescued as opposed to those who you think should be living differently then your morals or ideals say they should?

will you do more than retweet a link or 2?

what will you choose?

when i see her name – or her, i smile. she may be the queen of a particular niche of porn, but to us, she’s simply a beautiful woman inside and out and someone who is becoming a real friend.

Hollie has the ability to make us laugh and make us think. we’re always prepared with bail money when we go out with her and any time spent with her is never dull.

today, our Hollie will be undergoing a mastectomy. after a short time of rest, Hollie will then have 5 weeks of radiation, 5 days a week.

we are wholly committed to helping Hollie cross the finish line in her fight against breast cancer. and we are asking you to partner with us.

this request is about Hollie, whom we love immensely.

if you are able to give any amount, please do so by clicking the link below. even if it’s the money you’d usually spend on your morning coffee or happy hour cocktail. and if you have no means to give, we would ask you to send her an encouraging word, your positive thoughts and prayers.

you can drop Hollie a get – well wish and some encouraging words via email at:

helpinghollie@gmail.com

or

give directly to her fund by going to bit.ly/pbeo6F

we find ourselves in a few different worlds.  strip clubs, churches, sex clubs and chatting over tea or lunch with sex workers and more – we love all the places we get to be and we also never take it for granted.

over the coming months, we hope to share about those we work with, have gotten to know over the years as well as those who love or loathe us.

if you feel you’d like to add your voice to some of the following topics, we would love to talk to you and get you on board – but only if you’re articulate, respectful and are not a hate monger. email us:

laura at solaceSF dot org    < —- you know what to do!

sex and Faith * human traffiking * why you’re an advocate for sex work * your feelings towards sex workers * prostitution * porn * …you get the gist.

here’s to a stellar week! we have 17 graduates and can’t wait for them to take on the world here in SF and beyond.

xo,

l.

regardless of where, you, the reader stand on the topic of sex, sex for money, sex and identity issues and more, the thoughts shared by this sex worker are candid, well articulated and an interesting perspective.

escort girl life envy

*the article itself is on a traditional magazine site, but please use personal responsibility if you choose to click on links found within the article or page. i am not your mother or your net-nanny.

she had been sold for sex and for labor since age 11. she’s crossed state and country lines more times then she can recall. she never knew she was ‘trafficked’ – she was doing what she was told to do, ‘or else’.

last week, she turned 20. she’s enrolled in school, making a few friends and discovering that she was created with purpose and has a promise of hope and a future.

S. is one of the fortunate – she made it out.

i’d like to ask you to consider what the reality of human trafficking is, on days other then today. to think about the men and women who do not have some of the opportunities you and i may have. to give priority to thoughts and actions that cause you to help those who presently cannot help themselves or those they love.

the web is buzzing about all of these things and more today, but what will you and can you do, tomorrow and the next day and the day after that?

i like this idea, more than i can articulate.

my one word for 2011 is, ‘solace’.

solace is something that has been provided to me in a multitude of ways over the years as well as a vision of something placed in front of me for the last 3 years here in the city of San Francisco. however, it was 2010 that made it a beautiful reality.

solaceSF is a not-for-profit, based in and serving within San Francisco. we do our best to meet the needs of the men and women within the sex industry and those who are survivors of human traffiking. we’re fortunate enough to offer medical care, counseling, personal development, life skills, adult education assistance, recovery program referrals and more, completely free of charge to those we serve.

we’ll write about what happens in the clubs we visit or the things we encounter when out and about or how the things swirling around us impact those we love and serve. but the underlying theme for this blog and for what we do is that solace is always what we strive to give, now and beyond 2011.

our site will go live soon. presently, you’ll find a holding page but there is incredibly cool stuff taking place. honestly, i can’t wait to share our adventures with you.

l.